A video from a church service went viral last week, sparking conversations across Nigerian social media. If you spend time online, you may have come across a clip of a woman sharing her experience from a past relationship.

According to reports, the man she was previously involved with had helped her establish her business. However, she eventually left the relationship because she felt he was too financially calculating and was not as generous with money as she expected. The Pastor tried making some corrections and then came a response from the congregation.

“Men dey!”

The phrase became the funniest part of the video for many people. It is a familiar Nigerian expression that basically suggests there are men out there who will meet those financial expectations. The phrase also plays into the wider pop-culture language of men who “run things” and have enough money to fund whatever their partners want.

Everyone laughed.

But underneath the laughter is a conversation the church probably needs to have.

When did this become normal?

There is nothing wrong with wanting a financially responsible man.

There is nothing wrong with wanting a partner who can provide. There is also nothing wrong with having standards for the kind of person you want to marry.

The question is where those standards come from.

Social media has quietly changed how many people think about relationships. We see women displaying expensive gifts from their partners. We see men being measured by the cars they drive, the restaurants they visit and how much money they can spend on a woman.

After seeing enough of it, these things can begin to feel like the standard.

And that is where Christians need to be careful. The culture of the world is not and should not be the culture of the church.

A culture that says a man’s worth is determined by how much he can spend can eventually influence how Christians judge potential husbands.

A culture that says a woman’s value is tied to the lifestyle a man can provide can eventually influence how Christian women think about marriage.

And a culture that treats relationships as financial transactions can slowly make sacrificial love, contentment and partnership sound old-fashioned.

You can want a successful husband without making wealth the foundation of your attraction.

You can want a generous wife without expecting her to prove her love through spending.

You can desire comfort without turning luxury into evidence that God has blessed your relationship.

And you can want someone who provides without ignoring their character, wisdom, discipline and relationship with God.

The viral video may have disappeared from our timelines but the values we quietly absorb from moments like this can stay with us for much longer.

What values are we bringing into our relationships that we have never actually stopped to question?